Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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