hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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