well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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