This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
