Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
