You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
