she was so not down for the gang bang
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Sext me about skeletons
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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