I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
