Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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