Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
