don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
