that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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