She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
