Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
