I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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