I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
