if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
