Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
