i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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