first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
