First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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