i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
