so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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