his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I checked into jail on foursquare
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
