Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
