i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
