Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
