White coat. Heels.
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
