Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
