there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
