captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
