Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
