booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
