we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
