I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
