i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i out mim tonsoeep
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