# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I checked into jail on foursquare
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
