We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
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