You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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