My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
