I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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