If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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