Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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