Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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