You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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