i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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