No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize