Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
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