It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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