did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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