Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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