doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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