Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
