There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
