I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
